Well, folks, I tried my best. I really did. I added as much content as I could on our new website and blog within the last few days. I was on a roll! I think I still am. My other lovers observe me and comment on how much of a butterfly I am. I have to be consistently involved in something or with someone, whether it be hanging out with a close friend all day long or tinkering with the layout of a blog. As long as it doesn’t involve cleaning.
Speaking of being involved, what have I gotten myself into this time? It still makes me giddy to think about. I am constantly thinking about their personality, their touch, their smell, and the way they feel. I am a very touchy, affectionate, and playful person by nature, so to expand my love zone is incredible for me. It makes me love my first boyfriend that much deeper, as well, while falling head over heels for the new boyfriend and girlfriend.
It makes me proud to say, yes, I have 2 sexy boyfriends and 1 gorgeous girlfriend. I even pause and revel in the words after I say that, be it to one of my friends or writing them down on the website and here. They are so good to me. Bear Claw takes such good care of me and tolerates the chaos I tend to create, Gentle Dog gives me as much physical and verbal affection as I need, and Wounded Turtle tends to ground me when my ego floats too high, while still managing to stroke it. Does that even make sense?
At the moment, I’m very obsessed with Gentle Dog. It could be the NRE, it could be the newness of it all, but regardless, I am finding myself becoming even more pleased with who he is inside. I can connect with him on a deep level. I love how he is, sexually and emotionally. He is so good at calming and easing my temper. Okay, as shallow as this is going to sound, I ESPECIALLY love his teeth! When he laughs, smiles, or bares his teeth, I swoon a little inside. I could sit and talk with him all day long. I could stare at his face for days! And the things he can do with his mouth and hands would require an entire paragraph of its own. He is my equal in philosophy, passion, heritage (Irish and beer!), and fire sign. I love his daddy mode and how sexy he looks when he’s angry. He’s such an amazing man to get to know.
With Wounded Turtle, I am simply very comfortable with her. I have been around her for so long as friends that we are just simply right with each other. She has a tendency to get me to act on sexual impulses. Once I lead the way, sometimes I’ll stop and she’ll push me along. I can hang out with her all day long. She knows so much about me. I love how her body is and how she has this bashful smile. I love how she always seems so sturdy and yet so fragile. She really gets me laughing once she starts laughing, just because she’s so cute when she does. Sex with her is so hot!
And then there’s my primary, long-time love of my life. The playful bear in secret, the stoic and silent one in public. I simply can’t go a day without having kissed him, smelled his sleepy breath, and yelling at him for farting or something equally as gross. I love his strong arms around me. I love how he expresses his fantasies to me and persuades me to try them out with him. His eyes gets to me. His laughter, smile, and teeth does, too. I love how open he is to me, how I have that privilege with him, because he is so mysterious to everyone else. I love his wide face, his goatee, his nose, and freckles. I love his deep, full belly laugh once he actually gets into it. I love the way he smells during and after sex. I particularly love how he blushes and smiles secretly at me when I talk about him just the way I’m doing now (he did this just a minute ago when I showed him this part about him).
I just can’t get enough of my loves!
On a different note, we recently had a minor drama. Our lady turtle is very fertile (I swear I didn’t mean to rhyme this). So, Bear Claw and I put a huge emphasis on condoms and birth control. She also has an appointment for IUD (or whatever that is). We were very supportive of her efforts. However, I didn’t take into account her sensitivity and mood swings at the time. I tend to take things very lightly or act like I am, even with some of the things that I had put a lot of serious thought into.
Plus, I like to say things like — gouging eyes, skullfucking, etc. It was an inside joke between me and Gentle Dog (his way of easing my temper by talking about physical to mental aggression), and I’ve gotten to saying stupid things that actually sounds rude if you don’t really know me too well.
So, after that bit of information, what I said yesterday was: “I’m really glad you’re taking those steps. If you gotten pregnant with Bear Claw’s baby, I’d have to either gouge your eyes out or just really be hurt and upset.” Naturally, her intention is to never harm anyone, and I knew this. The reason I stated it was to express just how much of a consequence her pregnancy could cause the whole group. Gentle Dog got his vasectomy done, so we would know who had gotten her pregnant. I suppose it was pointless to state all that, but I really was happy she was TAKING those steps! I wasn’t saying them in a way to discourage her or put her down. It was just that I had imagined her getting pregnant with his baby and it felt so painful to even consider it. The reason I’m writing this down is that I wanted to put this out in the open air and use this as a form of apology to Wounded Turtle.
Why was it a big deal? Because I had spent 2 years attempting to encourage Bear Claw into parenthood. He is very logical about process and I am simply just wanting to be a mama. Whereas, Wounded Turtle and Gentle Dog has four kids between them. I am just being very selfish in this regard. And even as I am being selfish, Bear Claw is being logical — he is afraid of complications of Wounded Turtle having his kid, dealing with her four kids, how Gentle Dog would feel, and he wanted his first to be with me when we are ready as that was something we had spoken of for a long time. In the end, Wounded Turtle is really just doing her best as she also wants no complications and hurting on her part. We are grateful for it. I am really sorry for being rude about it in the first place.
Alright, well, I have run out of words for tonight.
Wet smooches to all,
Tiger Lily
